Proverbs 18:13

If one gives answer before hearing, it is folly and shame.

Actively and intently listen to others so that you can accurately discern their needs before giving advice.  If we are listening with the ear of our heart to hear someone’s needs, we will then more naturally ask good follow up questions to better understand, as well as help lead them to discover, what is true of themselves. Self-discovery leads to action much more than being lectured does.

Do you want the other person to see what is robbing them of life and then make the necessary changes to kill it? Or do you want to spout what you know so you feel better for saying it? Or because you think they’re pathetic for not seeing it? Or because you are fed up with them?

Matthew 18:6-7

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to trip up,” he went on, “it would be better for them to have a huge millstone hung around their neck and be drowned far out in the deep part of the sea. It’s a terrible thing for the world that people will be made to stumble. Obstacles are bound to appear and trip people up, but it will be terrible for the person who makes them come.”  [The Kingdom New Testament]

Causing others to sin, tempting people to do wrong, being a catalyst for anyone to go against God’s will is really, really, really bad.

Matthew 18:21-35

Not forgiving someone is really, really, really bad. See verses 34 and 35. It’s not just a karma thing; it’s an answering to God thing.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at ALL TIMES, and a brother is there for the difficult times. 

A true friend is not only there when things are going well and easy. But they are especially there in the dark times, when life is not so fun. This is when we desperately need people to be with us. Sometimes that is all we need, someone to just be there with us in our pain. You don’t always have to say the perfect thing or be Super Inspirational Person. Sometimes you need to SHUT YOUR BIG YAPPER! as Chris Farley told us.

I shall never forget what my friend Danny did for me when my father passed away. He sat with me. He didn’t talk. He sat with me. And it meant the world to me.

So far, in my few years and miles on this journey, I have found the most effective ministering to be listening  very intently with the ear of your heart, and then asking good questions.

Proverbs 17:22

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit is dryness to the bones.

A joyful heart as a result of the healing presence of God and God’s people is what is so needed to combat the darkness of life. We can get through anything as long as the one who means the most to us is with us thru it. Who means the most to you?

And remember who the real enemy is through all of this. When our brothers and sisters are going through the rough stuff of life, they may not be the most pleasant people to be around or the most rational. Look beyond that to their pain and where it comes from. We have an enemy. Be angry, annoyed, and sick of “him,” not our dear hurting brothers and sisters. And listen to YHWH’s voice through it all, not the enemy, not even the hurt person only. For then you will just be dragged down as well.

As has been said, “I’ll sit with you in your hole, but I’m not gonna hang pictures on the wall.”

Matthew 17:5

“This is my dear son and I’m delighted with Him. Pay attention to Him.”

Here we have the ultimate affirmation, don’t we? YHWH states who Jesus is, how He feels about Him, and how He sees Him. And thanks to Jesus, this applies to us as well! This is our true identity.

We are our loving God’s dear child.

He delights in us.

He approves of us and accepts us. There’s not much better approval than someones’s endorsement of “Pay attention to her” or “Listen to this guy.”

We actually are worthy, not because of anything we’ve attained though, or need to attain. Which takes so much pressure off. We simply are accepted because of what Jesus attained for us, because of supernatural love, because of who God is. Therefore we just are. Everyday, we choose to live into that truth or we don’t.

Choose to take one hour today to totally live into that truth and see how it changes you.

Proverbs 16:5

All those who are arrogant (proud of heart) are an abomination to the Lord; be assured, they will not go unpunished.

Every breath, every talent, every ability we have is a gift from our good God. Once you actually realize this, you hear clearly the foolishness of bragging, in yourself as well as others. God did create us to be creators, and gave us the abilities to do many great things, but again, it’s all from Him. As my spiritual partner Dave says, “Who would you rather meet? Peyton Manning, or the Person who made Peyton Manning?” Good question. Easy answer if you ask me.

P.S. The arrogant being an abomination to God and not going unpunished should scare the prideful pants off you!

Hear what Charles Bridges wrote in his classic study of Proverbs on this verse:

The hatefulness of a proud look has been mentioned [Prov.6:17]. But the searcher of hearts sees the proud of heart under a humble look. Men see no hatred in this spirit. It brings no disgrace. Instead, it is often thought to be high-minded. But it keeps back the heart from God. It lifts up the heart against Him. It contends for supremacy with Him. So…when it strikes at God, what wonder that God strikes at it, as a hateful abomination to Himself?

In addition, how unbecoming such sin really is! A creature so utterly dependent, so fearfully guilty, yet proud in heart! A true child of a fallen parent, who, in dreaming to be as God, made himself like the devil. Many are the forms of this hateful spirit. Some are proud of their beauty; some of their talents; some of their rank; some of their goodness–all forgetting, that “what do you have that you did not receive?” [1 Cor.4:7] all unconscious, that these attitudes of the heart are an abomination to the Lord.

Matthew 16:23

“you’re not looking at things like God does! You’re looking at things like a mere mortal!”

Vision. How we see is important, is key to how we actually live out our lives. Life is so much deeper than we give it credit for. Most of reality is beneath the surface and invisible to us.

Whenever someone wrongs you, it is the shallow vision of a mere mortal that takes great offense and focuses in on your own hurt, thus spiritually blinded and unable to even see the hurt in the other person. But kingdom vision sees beyond this elementary plain, thru to the heart of the other person, and realizes there is a deeper incoherance and hurt in them causing the outburst. In the kingdom, your heart goes out to them, seeing way past your own trivial offense and into the great need for healing that the other person needs and wants, tho they may not be able to express. But first we must be healed.

This vision does not usually come to us quickly, but by an intentional cultivation thru practices that make this vision our natural vision, by the renewing of our mind, by the decided effort to put into place what is needed to be conformed to the image of Christ.

Proverbs 15:28

The mind of the righteous ponders how to answer

This is my desire. I’ve read that whenever anyone asked author Dallas Willard a question, there was always a long pause. Starting with a long, thoughtful pause would be good for us. I’m making a conscious effort to seek Holy Spirit’s wisdom and insight before spouting off all I know!

Matthew 15:1-20

“you make God’s word null and void because of your tradition”

Don’t do anything just because you should do it. Do everything out of love for God. Do only what emanates from your center, after training your center to love and seek God above all else in the world.

Don’t go to church because you should. Go because you love to be around God’s people, because of your deep need for the encouragement godly people bring in our lives.

Don’t read the Bible because you’re suppose to. Read it to get to know God more deeply. You have the power to make God’s words null and void, or else a Tree of Life!

Don’t pray because you have to. Pray in order to cultivate intimacy with Daddy by just talking to Him about your day, about your life, about your worries, about your joys.

Do nothing in order to just get it done. Do nothing merely because you’re suppose to. As a friend of mine once wisely advised me, “Don’t should all over yourself.”

Proverbs 14:2

Those who walk uprightly fear the Lord

This fear is not a matter of being frightened, but rather of awe, being moved by God’s transcendent power and majesty. Trust in and love for the divine power and the resulting obedience and relationship are implied by this “fear of the Lord.”

-from The Spiritual Formation Bible

Matthew 14:13

When Jesus heard it [John the Baptizer was killed], He went away from there in a boat to a deserted spot by Himself.

We see from the accounts that this is Jesus’ default in times of trouble. Going to His father to be alone with Him. I am growing in this myself and noticing the great comfort that is brought by our Papa. Instead of doing what is “normal” for you in a time of stress, choose instead to get alone with our Father and cry out to Him. I believe He desires this of us and is ready to meet us here and enjoys comforting us. He is the God of all comfort.

Why is it we, even as  Christians, tend to go everywhere but directly to God first for comfort?

Matthew 14:17-18

“All we have here,” they said, “is five loaves of bread and two fish.” “Bring them to me,” He said.

“All I have are these talents, Lord, these few skills.” “Bring them to me and I will multiply them beyond what you have imagined. Hand them over to Me in trust and watch Me do great and mighty things with what you have.”

Proverbs 13:12-19

A longing fulfilled is a tree of life and sweet to the soul.

Fulfillment vs. Frustration.

This section shows how wise actions and foolish actions lead to contrasting outcomes: a sick heart or a life-giving tree.

Wise actions include obeying God’s commands, heeding wise instruction and correction, acting prudently, and serving reliably. Such behavior will result, respectively, in reward, a fountain of life, favor, healing, and honor–a truly “sweet” outcome!

[from The Baker Illustrated Bible Commentary]

Proverbs 13:20

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.

You become the average of the three to five people you spend the most time with.

Matthew 13:3, 11-17

He had much to say to them, and He said it all in parables.

Why did Jesus speak in parables?

It’s difficult for me to grasp fully, but the allusion here is so that those who are truly open and seeking truth will understand and be enlightened. And those who are not open, who are set in their ways, will not even have the capacity to hear or see what is being communicated. This is, at least in part, due to the fact that their pride won’t even allow them to look into these deep treasures any further than what a shallow, haughty glance would be able to discern.

I am learning more and more the truth that–God wants to be wanted. God desires to be sought after and pursued. He is for those desperately seeking and desiring Him, desiring Truth. He is not something to be tacked on to what we are already doing, to the life we are living on our own. No, He desires to be our everything, and He wants to heal and fulfill and give us joy.

Proverbs 12:3

The root of the righteous will never be moved.

Joy in all circumstances is one of the things Jesus brought to us, I believe, if only we acknowledge it. Embracing the Father in each moment is joy. Abandonment to God for all outcomes, trusting all will be well in the end.The opposite is a discontented distancing from each present moment. It reminds me of Yoda’s rebuke of Luke:

“Never his mind on where he was! What he was doing!”

Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up.

Again we see the importance and goodness of encouraging someone daily.

Matthew 12:11-12,29,33

The brilliance of Jesus speaking in metaphors.

Again and again I hear of scientific studies proving Him as true and all knowing of the human heart. We tend to learn more, it has been shown, from indirect metaphorical communication than direct truths thrown at them. Go figure. We learn much more thru stories and “success modeling” as my friend Rex puts it. And as has been said with raising children and teaching others: truth is absorbed from being caught more than taught. Your offspring tend to do more what you do than what you say. Hopefully those two are one and the same.

If you want to pass something along to others effectively, tell stories and model what you teach.

Proverbs 11:12

Whoever belittles another lacks sense, but an intelligent person remains silent.

“Silence is a spiritual discipline to be practiced not just in meditation when we are alone and listening for God’s guiding voice, but also when we are with others and need to hold back words that are harsh, hurtful, or boastful.”

-From The Spiritual Formation Bible

Belittling or despising someone backfires horrendously from its obvious intent to elevate yourself and debase the other. The actual result of this senseless action is the revelation your own stupidity, for we are all connected and made up of the same stuff. None of us has the corner market on awesomeness. Your own imperfection is highlighted by your voiced lack of understanding. So let’s just stop putting people down, and therefore drawing attention to our lack of sense with the sirens of stupidity, from this day forth.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Are you having a real struggle? Come to me! Are you carrying a big load on your back? Come to me-I’ll give you a rest! Pick up my yoke and put it on; take lessons from me! My heart is gentle, not arrogant. You’ll find the rest you deeply need. My yoke is easy to wear; my load is easy to bear.” [Kingdom New Testament]

Interestingly, I just read something about this very passage yesterday. What is not typically given in reference to this popular section of Scripture is its context. Jesus was talking to people bearing the heavy burden of harsh, demanding religion. He had just been rejected in several cities, even after performing many great signs, because of their prevailing view of God and religion.

Jesus invited them and invites us to lay down our heavy burdens of man-made religion that is not of Him, even if it does have His name attached to it. (You’ve probably heard the phrase “Christian in name only”) He gives rest to your soul, not stress or demand.

True religion calls you to God Himself.

It was difficult for many in these cities, as it is for many of us today to turn away from our deeply embedded false narratives of God that come via our families, culture, and religious backgrounds. But when you do give it up, the freedom is exhilarating. Discovering the true Jesus will always give peace, joy, and rest to your soul. It is beyond wonderful, and there is no turning back to the back-breaking demands of burdensome religion after you have truly tasted and seen that the Lord is good [Psalm 34:8].

Proverbs 10

Our words are powerful and can be very life giving. An encouraging word to someone goes a lot further than you usually realize. Make a practice of intentionally encouraging at least one person everyday and see what happens.

Proverbs 10:19

Where there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is wise.

May our words be few, full, and well thought out.

Matthew 10:37-39

“If you love your father or mother more than me, you are not worthy to be my followers. If you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy to be my followers.

If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine.

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”

Many people have a tough time with verse 37 because they mistakenly think they have to have more emotional feelings for Someone they can’t see than they have for their own children.

That isn’t really the meaning of this verse. We love God through obedience and devotion. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commands.” Though I do believe emotional feelings for God will grow over time as we move closer to Him, and that our relationship with Him is not simply one of dutiful, transactional acquiescence, I also believe that we show our love for God through devotion and obedience to Him.

We are to be more devoted and obedient to God than our children, parents, or spouse. We do not have to try to conjure up lovey-dovey feelings for God so as to be in compliance with this passage.

If you devote so much energy and time to your children, catering to their lives constantly, and it leaves you no time or energy left over to simply be with or talk to God, then that is a problem most likely.

If you allow your parents’ esteem or lack of it for you to dictate how you feel about yourself or to determine your self-worth, then you are loving them (even if in some twisted manner) more than God.

God says who you are and what you are to do with your time and energy first.

Give everyone else the leftovers. And guess what. Those leftovers will be better than your first fruits best because they are runoff from the overflow of God’s Spirit.