For today’s Ripple, I asked my good friend, Samuel J. Blandina, to write an account of an experience he had a few weeks back. [That’s him on the far right at one of our men’s retreats]

SJB here.  I was at the gym where I do some work out of two weeks ago, just working out on my own. As a corrective exercise specialist I often see BAD stuff in the gym, as in, awful form, poor exercise choice, etc. My greatest challenge is not to judge in arrogance, which breeds contempt, one of satan’s very effective tools. If I see the bad, and don’t speak His name–Jesus, I drop my shield and get reamed by evil as I judge the other into oblivion. In this particular instance of witnessing what I did not approve of, I said not a word, but my body talk was blatantly condeming near a trainer working with a client. And I was called out for it. Ouch!  The trainer said to me, “Go shake your head somewhere else.” I was crushed, ashamed, and felt like I’d been slapped in the face. It took about 60 seconds before I could hear Jesus, “Go now and humble yourself.” So I go up to this young man and tell him I was wrong and ask him to please forgive me. I almost left in shame right then, but stayed to finish what I intended to do for my workout. I was in turmoil.

All day long I could hear that rebuking sentence, “Go shake your head somewhere else,” and it just despaired my heart. It hurt deeply. I prayed for clarity and peace, as I was torn and restless. I heard scripture: “If you bring your gift to the altar, and have ought against your brother or sister, leave your gift there, go reconcile yourself to them, then come back and offer your gift.” OK.  So I went to bed. It took a bit to fall to sleep … I woke at 3am, and my heart was calm….Jesus.

I saw this person as I was working with a client later in the week. I thought I would call, or send a card to apologize, but knew face to face was the necessary, and hardest, thing to do. So be it. Face to face I confessed my unprofessional and immature behavior, and asked for forgiveness. He was most gracious and kind. A huge weight was lifted off me. And I realized that was the richest gift I could ever receive. And it came from the power under, the unseen, intangible, yep, His name again, Jesus. He has changed me.

Without saying a word we can cause as much harm (with our body language) as we can with words.

Keep that armor on.

We are at war….

Here’s a provocative thought that’s been around for well over 800 years:

Nothing burns in hell but self-will.

One of my favorite authors, A.W. Tozer, set for himself what he called “holy affirmations.” These were agreements he made for himself that significantly enhanced his Christian walk.

He shared his own personal agreements, not to tell everyone to do the exact same, but to get you started on thinking of and crafting your own as needed specifically for you. Here are his:

• Determine before God never to own anything. He did not mean here to literally have zero possessions. He lived by the principle that anything you are not willing to give up actually owns you. So to own nothing meant to be detached from all things, even if they are in your possession. “Take everything and say that God has it. Do not imagine for a minute that if you give God 10 percent, you are okay and can keep the remaining 90 percent. God must have 100 percent…If there is anything that you own that God cannot have, you cannot have God. God has a right to command whatever He wants the moment He wants it.”
• Never defend myself. This is a tough one, particularly for Americans, Tozer said. To let God defend you. But I am telling you from my own personal experience, that it is the better way to go. There’s been a few times in which I was thought to have said or did something I simply did not say or do. Instead of defending myself, which usually ends up making you look guiltier than before anyway, I took it to God, gave it to Him, and trusted Him to defend me. And you know what? He did. This one time I’m thinking of, for instance, someone contacted me the day after accusing me of saying something pretty awful, and apologized, for he remembered that it was in fact not me who said it. Thank you, Lord! That went way better than trying to argue my case.
• Never defame a fellow Christian. How important is this one?? To set a fence up against the toxic territory of gossip and slander of any kind against our brothers and sisters. “By this, I mean never believe evil about him or speak an evil report about him. Remember your past and your own tendency to give in to temptation. I think sometimes the Spirit of God shuts Himself up tight and cannot come upon us because we have defamed a brother or sister Christian. Such an evil report becomes a weapon in the devil’s hand.”
• Never receive or accept any glory.  Oh how we love glory and getting credit. I love how Dallas Willard would advocate praying for the success of others, even those you don’t particularly like. And the spiritual discipline of secrecy–doing good that no one could possibly know about, and then not telling anyone! Just between you and Papa Yahweh. Kind of the opposite of Michael Scott for those of you who have ever watched “The Office.” There was an episode where he was talking about how he’d like to someday donate anonymously the money to build a hospital, and how we would plan to stand by the “Funded Anonymously” sign and tell passersby, “Hey, you know who did that? Me. I funded that.”

Thought Rhyming

see God seeing you

1. I can see you
2. I can hear you
3. I can understand how hard this is for you
4. I am glad to be with you
5. I can do something about what you are going through

Step 1) I can see you

The way we respond to the question, “How does God see me?” is key to determining if we will move toward or away from God.  In thought rhyming we write from God’s perspective. God watches us with love and describes to us what He observes. To begin this for yourself, you will describe what is happening around you and inside you (as much as you are able) through the eyes of God.

1. Begin writing about your observable actions and surroundings as if God is describing them back to you.

Examples are:

“I can see you sitting at the table.”

“I see you drinking a cup of coffee.”

“I can see you watching TV.”

“I can see you staring at the computer screen.”

“I saw you pacing back & forth in the dark.”

“I have seen you yelling at your kids.”

2. Write about your body movements, sensations, expressions, or physiological responses that others might not be able to notice with their bare eyes. 

Examples are:

“I can see that your jaws & fists are clenched.”

“I saw the heaviness in your chest making it difficult to breathe.”

“I can see that your shoulders are scrunched up.”

“I see you holding your breath.”

“I can see your heart beating fast.”

“I see that you are about to explode.”

“I can see your eyes tightening as tears are welling up.”

“I saw your mind going blank and your body freezing up.”

“I can see the knots in your stomach churning.”

Step 2) I can hear you

Now we answer the question, “How do I think God hears me?” We write what God is hearing us say out loud as well as what we are thinking internally. Listen as God describes back to you what He hears & write down His description. At this point we are just allowing God to describe and help us bring our thoughts to the surface, regardless of whether we judge them as good or bad. It may be challenging for us to believe that God can hear all our thoughts without condemning us. It is easy to get stuck because we start to judge our thoughts and ourselves. This step is focused on perceiving the fact that God hears all our thoughts. He is allowing us to experience being truly listened to instead of having us experience correction or teaching. In order to stay relationally connected, we must experience being heard.

We may be surprised at the sheer number of thoughts going through our mind. It will be tempting to dismiss many of them. But it is important to get in the habit of writing these thoughts down (naming them), even if they seem unusual or irrelevant, as it can be very helpful to bring to the surface something that needs resolution. In other words, there can be lies or vows embedded in these thoughts that were developed as a way of coping with our pain. When those thoughts remain hidden & are not replaced with truth, we retain pain.

1. Begin writing as God simply says back to you what He hears from your speech & actions.

 

Examples are:

“I can hear you yelling & screaming.”

“I heard you crying quietly.”

“I can hear you say to your spouse/child/co-worker/parents, ‘I hate you.'”

“Get away from me.”

“I do not trust you.”

“I feel unsure about this situation.”

“You do not know me.”

“I am done with you.”

2. Continue writing about unspoken words in your mind. God simply recognizes what He hears from our inner thoughts. If there are too many thoughts, you can list them in bullet points.

Examples are:

“I hear you judging yourself.”

“I hear your heart & mind racing.”

“I heard the excitement in your voice.”

“I hear you saying, ‘I am dumb. Here we go again!'”

“I have heard you trying to calm yourself.”

“I hear you saying to yourself, ‘I should be angry! It’s not fair. She can’t do this to me. I should have known. I wish I could have done it differently.'”

“I hear the deep desires of your heart.”

“I am hearing your fears that you are too ashamed to acknowledge.”

“I hear the quiet resolution in your heart.”

Step 3) I can understand how big (hard) this is for you

Sometimes we minimize our pain. Often we deny ourselves permission to receive comfort for the seemingly small moments of pain. We minimize our apparently minor trials, compared to the perceived bigger challenges of others. We do this to ourselves & others. God, however, sees, hears, knows, & understands why a particular issue is so big for us. God knows our history. No matter how insightful a therapist may be or wise a friend is, only God can ultimately know the intricacies of our lives & experiences.

Validation moves mental experiences toward resolution by accurately stating their “size,” that is to say, intensity & impact. Without validation we will not be comforted. Comfort follows validation & gives us peace. When we validate how big or hard our experiences were, we can then calm our brain.

In this third step we put in words our impression of God’s accurate understanding of how important something is to us. He is able to illuminate our responses & grant us forgiveness, understanding, & comfort. He also gives us a model to follow. Through this step we may discover we are reacting to something in the past.

Examples are:

“I can see this is a pretty big deal for you.”

“This feels all-consuming for you.”

“It looks like this is about to overtake you.”

“This is as big as when your parents announced their divorce.”

“This is a big deal, but workable.”

“I understand how sad you feel about this.”

“I understand how angry you are; it makes sense to me.”

“I understand why this is so hard for you. You have always felt alone so even though you understand in your head, your heart is about to burst with fear.”

“I understand why this is so big & scary for you. I know you feel like you are not able to get my attention, and that scares you. I know that growing up, you or your experiences were never the priority for your parents.”

Step 4) I am glad to be with you, and treat your weaknesses tenderly

We think that our sin or weaknesses will keep God away from us. We might even think God cannot associate with sinners. However, God is always glad to be with us just as we are. Whether we feel connected to God or not, none of our weaknesses keep Him away. In God’s presence we are transformed. Peter was restored once he experienced that Jesus still wanted him in spite of his weakness (John 21).

In step 4 you will write God’s confirmation of His love for you by hearing Him say, “I am glad to be with you, My child.” Write what you perceive God might be saying to you in a kind, tender, & loving way.

Examples are:

“I am glad to be with you, and I see your weaknesses tenderly.”

“I am always glad to interact with you anytime including this moment of frustration/pain/sadness. You might judge & condemn your lack of trust in My goodness & love, but I never condemn you. Rather, I am glad & thankful that you are here with me.”

Step 5) I can do something about what you are going through

God not only validates our pain, but also guides us in our difficult situations.

In step 5 of thought rhyming, we write down what God might be saying to us about how He will be with us & help us. We may be reminded of God’s faithfulness in the past & given hope of His continuing work in, around, and through us. Scripture quotes & stories often come to mind during this time. Sometimes we find God asking us to do the difficult & hard work of living as His children. While reminding us who we are, God invites us to live according to our true heart. The promise of His constant presence, His unfailing love & His pure goodness will sustain us. Write your impression of what God is offering you.

Examples are:

“I will help you. I will help you to continue to see more clearly who I am and what I have been doing in your life and in this world. I will continue to make your heart tender so that the seeds of My Word & My Spirit will be able to grow & thrive in your life. I have you in the palm of My hands. I love you.”

“My Spirit will hold you. We are praying for you. We are upholding you. We are protecting you. We are shielding you & always encouraging you. Look up, My child, in your despair & see through the eyes of heaven. We will never let you go, & we will never let you stay down. We love you intensely & without borders. Our love for you is greater than your inability to trust & your idolatry & your fear. We will get through this. We are protecting your children. We are your God, the Father, the Son, & the Holy Spirit. We are powerful beyond measure.”

“I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Meditate on My goodness & on My truth. You will begin to see clearly, & the spirit of confusion & self-condemnation will leave. I will be with you tonight & give you good rest. I want you to sleep knowing that we can resolve this together. I will give you the words to speak to clarify the situation, & I will give you a heart of flesh so that you may be able to see from her perspective.”

These five steps form the sequence of thought rhyming with God. His perfect attunement & validation reveal to us that He clearly sees. God is glad to be with us in all circumstances. He is always initiating the restoration of our relationships with Him & others. He is continuously working on our behalf. “Immanuel Journaling” allows us to be more aware of these truths.