Proverbs 30:33

Just as sure as punching somebody’s nose makes it bleeds, so stirring up anger causes trouble and leads to accusations.

In any given situation, think through first what you really want to come of it. So often, when approaching something that needs attention, we just say what we feel like saying in the moment without consulting wisdom, and all we succeed in accomplishing is making someone angry or angrier.

If a friend needs correction or admonishment, make sure it is filled with grace and gentleness. Seek first to understand then to be understood via good questions. Going off on people just shuts the part of their brain down that allows them to rationalize and actually hear you. Telling them coldly all that is wrong with them is likely to result in their accusing you of something you’re not stellar at either and then all hell has broken loose.

Did you really want to help, or just air your frustrations?