From my Journal to Jesus January 3, 2025 A.D.

[BANANAS=The BAre NAked Nothingness of Abandonment and Surrender]

You gave me a word today while lying in the BANANAS, and I am so grateful for it. The word You gave me was “UNDO”, and You also gave me an accompanying visual with it: I have become overweight to the point that, not only do my clothes no longer fit, but I cannot even peel them off due to the taughtness. So I must first fast, purge, diet in order to get to the point in which I can even take off these clothes which so tightly cling to me. Once I do that, I simply need to be naked for a while-however long until You show me what clothes to put on. That was the vision, and the meaning was given clearly and simultaneously. I have been over-ingesting on that which is shallow, more shallow than what my spiritual diet requires. Therefore, I’ve allowed too much to cling to me (science says fat around the brain clouds our thinking?). It is time to go on a mind diet so that the extra weight can be shed in order to remove ways of thought that now cling too tightly to be quickly and easily removed. This will come through BANANAS with You over time. As I “undo” and unlearn I will get back to a good naked point of no-mind. Here I must stay until You give me directive (and until I can sense it!) to don the clothing which You choose for me. This is the consequence of spiritual laziness, inattentiveness, eating the bread of this world for too long a period. The “new” clothing, the new wineskin, will be fresh yet familiar; that steady diet of Your Word-a fresh Word from You every morning? Manna. This realignment could take the entire year, possibly three months, maybe just a week; I must be patient, consistent, waiting on You.

This seems to be my word of the year, from You. May I re-establish, and never again stray from the most vital practice of waiting listening to You. As I’ve read, and now experienced, the road back is one of significant effort. And yet, there You are, open-armed as You always are, ready to receive me, to help me get there. There’s just a way things work, I know. Thank You for always dragging me back to Yourself, and always with that comforting, joyful smile of Yours. It’s too much! Where else shall I go??