Since the start of The Ripple Effect in 2012, I’ve seen what I call “Three Killers” pop up over and over and over again. They are:

1. A False or unhealthy view of God
2. Distraction
3. Self-pity

A correct and healthy view of God is foundational to living this life well. As Christians, we believe that Jesus Christ was the ultimate revelation of what God is like. We believe that God is love, peace, goodness, holy–that He loves us without condition and forgives us totally. Though Scripture speaks of the wrath of God, nowhere do we read that He is a wrathful God. Nowhere do we see He is shaming or unjust. He asks our obedience because of His love for us, knowing His ways are the true and right ways to live fully, not because He can’t wait for us to screw up something. He knows where a life of obedience to Him leads, and it is a very good place.

This is closely related to a right view of self. Many of us need to repent of the sin of viewing ourselves in ways that are at odds with how God views us. We are of infinite worth and value. That’s why Jesus died for us while we were still opposed to His will. We must call this false view of self what it is–sin. It is wrong to view yourself under the microscope of shame and judgement. And until you repent of viewing yourself through your own or someone else’s eyes, as opposed to God’s eyes, you will remain stuck and shackled in the sin of that false world which stands at odds with God’s reality.

Distraction is now a huge part of our lives thanks to technology and a million things that seek to steal our attention away from where it best should go. Distraction keeps us from God’s word, from prayer, from spiritual friendship, you name it. I feel we’ve thought and written much on this, so that’s good for here.

Self-pity we mentioned yesterday. It keeps your focus on you and, therefore, away from helping others. It diminishes your capacity significantly.

How do we fight these three? Easily. Remember, the pursuit of God is the slaying of idols . Seek first God, His ways, His kingdom. Feast on Jesus’ words, commands, and life as if you are starving to death! This will give you a healthy and right view of God, keep you focused on what is important and distraction-free, and show you the great need out there and what part you can play so that there’s no time to wallow in self-pity!

When I worked at Outreach, Inc. I instituted a 3 no-show rule. You see, I would meet with my kids every week at their high school at the same time. Often I would find myself sitting there waiting…and waiting…and waiting. Finally, I wisened up and made the rule that three consecutive no-call, no-shows resulted in my stopping the weekly visit for that kid. As far as possible, I let them know about this rule. It can sound harsh, but our behavior or lack of action reveals our desire. And I would always tell them that I am available for whenever they’re ready, and that I’d love nothing more than to meet with them and help them finish high school and grow as a person.

Here’s the big lesson I learned in this:

The enemy wants us to focus on those who are not serious about making changes and moving forward. On those who are not ready or willing to put forth the effort required for personal growth or any type of accomplishment. Why? Because when your energy goes there, you’re not seeing or helping those who really are ready and could actually use your help to move forward in life. I compare this to the magician’s trick of waving one hand around which commands attention, meanwhile, the other hand, the hidden hand, is performing the trick.

I don’t want to know how many people I’ve missed, because, as seems to be in our nature, my energy wants to go toward and rescue the floundering yet unwilling. Maybe it’s because they complain the loudest. But I’ve learned to only put forth the energy required for someone who genuinely wants it, and keep my eyes open to those who may be around me who are crying out, willing to work toward something, and just need a pathway and encouragement. Well, I should say I’ve gotten better at it, not perfect, but better.

The other thing the enemy wants in this is for you to sink into self-pity and beat yourself up as to why the person you’re trying to help is not changing and getting better. As if it’s your fault. As if anyone’s choice to stay in their crap is your fault. But this is an effective temptation. We’ve all fallen prey to this son-of-a-jackhole technique.

As long as we’re wallowing in self-pity, who are we helping? No one! And who are we focused on? Our self! Our poor, poor little self. “Ohhhh, if only I had…” And as we stay here, we’re no doubt neglecting someone in serious need who is ready for change.

Remember, people are not ready for change until their level of discontent with their situation rises above their perceived effort to make said change. In other words, change is too much work and will not happen until you are dissatisfied enough with where you are to the point of being willing to do whatever it takes to move out of where you are. Then, and only then, will someone take your help and actually do something with it.

The school social workers I worked with had a saying–“I can’t want it more than you do.”

Of course I would also add that we must be in continual listening prayer as to who the Holy Spirit would have us reach out to. There have definitely been times someone was constantly on my heart even though I sensed no willingness on their part to move. Listen to the Voice. Obey the Voice.

And I want to be careful to not communicate that I’m advocating neglecting anyone, rather simply putting our energy where it will be most effective.

God is for us.

For

us.

Think about that.

Children, and probably adults, need five positive affirmations for every negative one they hear in order to grow.

It’s easy to catch someone doing wrong, but to catch them doing right is a game-changer!

The importance of a day of rest every week.

One day of nothing. No ministering.

God instituted this long ago. He made us with this need. We have a God-bestowed need for rest.

Rest is good.

In our scheduled rest, we acknowledge our limited humanity and God’s limitless divinity. We can’t do it all, be always on, nor are we called to be. Without rest, our perspective warps, believing we are responsible for more than we are even capable. In Sabbath, we are reminded of our role as part of the body. No one was made to do it all. Without Sabbath rest, our role gets easily blown out of proportion.

We sow. God reaps.

[I googled “encouragement” & I could not pass up sharing this one.]

Hebrews 3:13

But encourage one another every day, as long as it’s called “Today,” so that none of you may become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Encourage someone daily.

This may be the simplest yet most neglected practice I’ve come across.

Many of you know the somewhat fluke manner in which the reality this came about for me. It was 2011, and my spiritual partner Dave calls me up and asks if I will start calling him everyday at 4:00. “Sure, what’s up?” “That just seems to be about the time I start to lose it at work everyday, and forget who I am or why I’m here.” (I’m paraphrasing a bit, forgive me, Dave. But this is the gist of it.)

So I start ringing him everyday at 4:00. Little did we know the power of the “daily call.” Just a simple check-in, yet so hugely encouraging and effective. It builds your joy strength more than you would think. Just to know there’s someone out there who cares and is rooting for you. We felt God gave us a little gift that day that has helped us on hundreds of days thereafter.

Everyone needs encouragement.

For those of you have children, I was trained that kids need five positive affirmations to every negative one. It’s one thing to catch your child doing wrong, but it’s a game-changer when you catch them doing right, and verbally acknowledge it. I love the look on Gaby or Zayra’s face when I say, “Come sit on the couch. I wanna talk to you about something.” They of course are somewhat nervous at this ominous-sounding proposition, then I say, “I saw how you helped your sister today when she was having trouble trying to find her jacket. I just wanna say that I appreciate you for doing that, and I thought it was really great.”

Ear to ear smile.

Yesterday I mentioned telling Oxsana that Megan and I would write a letter to the staff of Last Bell on the lessons we’ve learned over the years in ministering to homeless and at-risk youth.

That proved to be a very efficacious practice. We basically wrote our “Epistle to Last Bell.” At least that’s how it felt. It was remarkably helpful to reflect on the past twelve years and what insights have been gained. Ergo, I will share what I put in that letter covering my volunteering at Outreach which started in 2003, being on staff as a case manager from 2005 to 2012, through Ripple Effect (Aug.2012), and the School of Spiritual Direction which I just completed in May of this year.

There were seven or eight major points that came to mind upon reflection, hence I will share one a day for the next week or so.

First and foremost I’ve come to learn, through experience, what Christian ministry actually is.

Ministry is simply the overflow of your heart connection to Jesus. If it’s not that, then it’s merely social work. Social work is not bad. In fact it’s quite good and a vital component of ministry. But it is not ministry itself. It’s a difference of energy source and direction (telos). Ministering out of my own power and heart is not really ministry per se. It’s just helping others from my own personal, and quite limited, capacity. Ministering in the power of the Holy Spirit, flowing from my connecting to God through Jesus Christ, is a whole different shootin’ match. It is this that expands our capacity because of the parasitic feeding on this energy source which is limitless. So I would say that my level of intimacy with God is directly proportional to my effectiveness in ministry. By “effectiveness,” I mean bearing fruit that has eternal value. As I take time to focus on my connection to the living person Jesus Christ, ministry then naturally flows out of me because of the indwelling Spirit of Jesus that cannot be contained, which was released upon the earth approximately 30 A.D. (Luke 24:49, Acts 1-2)

“Telos” is the ultimate goal or aim. In ministry it is soul healing and care. Healing and care for the whole person, in other words, and of course, soli deo gloria–glory to God alone. You want what God wants for them, because your desires have amalgamated with His. You want to see their flourishing as a human being, and you know this can only really happen as one moves toward God and is healed from the inside out. (By the way, have you seen the movie Inside Out? If not, go immediately! It is brilliant and should be required for anyone in ministry or social work!!)  In social work the telos  is to alleviate suffering or hardship or abuse. Again, very good, but in its strictest form which we are referring to here, it is not necessarily soul work–though many social workers do indeed cross into the territory of ministering to people’s souls.

I’va also come to define ministry as creating space for those who are hungry. This hearkens to the ol’ “You can lead a horse to water” thing. Ministry can inspire desire, maybe spark it, but cannot create it in someone’s heart. What I feel we provide in ministry is simply space for those who want more of God, more of the Life that really is life. This is something I must keep coming back to again and again, or else burnout will occur very quickly. I can’t want it for you. You have to want it yourself. Where one spends the majority of the trifecta of their time, energy, and money is where their priorities are, where their hearts is, where you will find what they worship. We have as much of God in our life as we want to have. If you desire something strongly enough, you’ll let nothing stand in your way to obtain it. If you need a pathway, a partner for encouragement, a group, a class, whatever, there’s plenty available. Therefore, when we say we lack something in our Christian life, we’re basically saying God didn’t provide what I needed to follow Him and live for Him. Perhaps you have not because you ask not.

So ministry flows from your intimacy with God, and simply creates space for those who desire that intimacy. I guess that’s all I really had to say. Sorry for the other 728 words..!

OK, so the retreat part of the trip.

We drive 40 minutes out to nowhere and see this beautiful lodge in a totally serene setting. You get a little peek at part of the area in the picture above, along with three of the staff of Last Bell. And there were kittens living under the building in the background of the picture! We fed them every nite and loved on them. I was in heaven.

So we are meeting most all of the staff for the very first time as we arrive on the scene of this retreat which we are to be facilitating. “What are we doing?” and “How did we get here?” were the two questions that kept going through my mind, and what Megan and I kept asking each other. I wanna say this was their first all-staff retreat. And we don’t even speak Russian…

Now we had prayed much over this time that had now come. And I mean that–not just thinking about praying, but really conversing with God, and asking what He would have us do during these few days. We took this very seriously. We had also skyped with Andrey before leaving the States, and presented what we felt God put on our hearts as to what would be most appropriate for their staff from what we know of where they’re at right now. We did not want to go over as the mighty, superior Americans with all the answers, nor did we want to give them a nice dose of “information overload” which we can be so very good at.

What we presented to Andrey was taking the staff through an exercise in writing their spiritual narrative. This is like your spiritual autobiography I guess. Writing your story with the intention of seeing God at work more clearly in the big picture of your life, as well as bonding to one another more deeply. (We did this in Ripple Effect a year or so ago, and it was an incredible experience.) This seemed to us to be what they most needed right now–to be known, encouraged, and celebrated. Andrey loved the idea. He thought it sounded perfect. It felt very good to be on the same page.

Back to Ukraine.

We got started that Tuesday afternoon. It was different working through a translator, but seemed to go well. I started off with a heavily Russian-accented English, as Andrey had jovially requested, but our translator, Olga, wasn’t having it. She said Andrey would have to translate if I was gonna do that. Back to my midwestern drawl. Sorry Olga. I’m just blazin’ outta the gates here, aren’t I.

We started them off brainstorming, and everyone actually got into it. It was a good first day.

Then the second day.

We continued onward but felt some disconnect around midday. Perhaps the cultural differences became a little barrier, or the fact that this was new for them, this spiritual narrative thing. One of the staff basically voiced at one point, “We don’t really need to do this, to look back over the past. God works everything out for good.”  Oh boy. Houston, we have a problem. Ellen sensed that maybe they were not understanding what we were doing, and that we needed to give them a little something more from us. Some more from our own work with youth.

During the break, we decided we would share some of our own stories in the afternoon and open ourselves up a bit. Ellen, Megan, and I went off separately to find solitude at this break time and, as we all found out later, prayed almost the exact same prayer. We each cried out to God, feeling unworthy, and asking what He would have us do. We came all the way out here, and are feeling a bit like failures. As I continued to pray, I “reminded” God that we came out here with no real agenda, but to listen to and encourage these wonderful people. To listen to the Holy Spirit, so that if He told us to do something else we would do it. And as I increasingly surrendered to God’s will and none of my own, I told Him, “I trust You. I choose to trust You in this. And even if I look like a fool out here, I submit to You and trust that You are at work in a bigger and better way than I can see. Please help us and keep us focused on glorifying You no matter what.”

Back to the afternoon sessions.

Complete turnaround.

We shared some of our hardest stories from Outreach and took their curious questions. This opened us up more. We all felt that it was good and right to push through on their spiritual narratives because of what it will accomplish for them as a staff. We felt it would be much more valuable than techniques or methods. Finally, we gave them time to write a portion of their story, preferably a part the rest of the staff probably does not know.

Andrey volunteered to read his first. And he hit it out of the park. It was cleverly written and heartfelt. He spoke of losing his father at age 11, his grandfather a few years after that, and his constant search for God. He opened himself up a lot to everyone as their leader, confessing it was harder to read his story out loud than it was to write it. There were definitely some not-so-dry-eyes amongst the staff. We then invited everyone to speak a word of encouragement and affirmation to Andrey. His wife was emotional, as she affirmed him beautifully. Olga, out translator, was in absolute tears as she shared how moved she was to remember to always spend quality time with their own children, never having another day guaranteed.

Oh this is good.

Three more shared their stories that afternoon, and guess who was always one of the first to volunteer words of encouragement to everyone after they read? Yep, the dude who was feeling this wasn’t really needed. It. Was. Beautiful.

All the next day we heard their stories. They were all deep, and the words spoken over one another were sincere, loving, and life-affirming. At one point, one of the guys said, “I wish we had this all on video so we could remember everything.” They shared near-death experiences, strange coincidences, healing, you name it. You could see the joy on everyone’s faces as they were heard and encouraged.

This is what we came for.

At one point, Olga’s husband, Rouslan, told me that he was thankful we came and that “We Ukrainians need encouragement. We are strong on discipline, but forget we need encouraging. So thank you.”

Wow. If that was not an answer to our prayers.

Thankfully, they negotiated an extra nite at the lodge, because we needed all the way up until noon checkout Friday to hear the last few stories. Oxsana was hoping to hear about some of our mistakes and lessons learned from working at Outreach before we left, but that would’ve wrecked the spirit of the moment I feel, and was not meant to be. I told her we can write that in a letter to their staff that they can share at their convenience.

We ended by praying together, joined in a big circle around their Spirit-filled leaders (yesterday’s picture). Some of the prayers included thanking God for this new closeness. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for this. That’s all we felt You wanted us to do–to encourage them, celebrate them, and do our best to help them bond more closely. What a time. And what a beautiful ending.

As some of you know, I traveled to Ukraine July 4-14. It would be difficult, if not ridiculous, to not share some highlights from this trip over the ocean we call the Atlantic.

First off, how this came about. Back in March, Andrey and Oxsana Pankyeyev, who run Last Bell Ministries in Zhytomyr, Ukraine, came to visit Indy. Trinity Church here in Broad Ripple is a supporter, and Ellen, who is in our house church  group, is their board chair. By the way, Last Bell is a ministry to orphans. They have a shelter where about six to eight youth can live, and they do quite amazing work with these very marginalized young people. Just to give you a tiny piece of perspective–in Ukraine, if you are an orphan, this status is designated on your ID card, and this label makes it very difficult to gain employment. No Joke. Thanks to the education and advocacy of Last Bell, they fair much better in the job market. Without help, well over half of female orphans become prostitutes, and well half off males become criminals. That’s just one aspect of how this ministry helps.

Go to Last Bell website, if you wish.

So Ellen asked if I would Andrey and Oxsana down at Outreach, Inc. (a ministry to homeless youth here in Indianapolis, and where I use to work) and do a little filming to be used on their website or elsewhere. Well, as things go, we get talking ministry, cameras, and soul care, and next thing you know, we are friends. The couple came to our house church that same nite where we heard beautiful stories of their lives and work in Ukraine. We prayed for them, laying hands on them, and we all bonded.

Shortly thereafter, Ellen asks us to go with her to Ukraine for ten days in the summer. This sounded like crazy talk. Isn’t that dangerous? And my initial thought was being very uncomfortable with leaving Gaby and Zayra for that long that far away. What do we need to go all the way over there for? Then, my loving wife tells me that she really thinks that I should go. That I’ve never done a trip like this, and that it will be a huge blessing to them and me.

OK.

We had a family meeting and made the final decision that I would go. The very next day, while at the gym, I just happen to grab a USA Today between sets. Bear in mind, I NEVER do this. I keep up with no news whatsoever if I can help it. And what’s on the from page? Trouble in Ukraine! People are being dragged off the streets, beaten, killed, taken. Civilians are not safe, the article said. I called Ellen. “Sooooo where exactly in Ukraine are we going?” “Oh, we’ll be like 8 hours away from all that stuff.” “Right. Cool.” She already bought the plane ticket. Crap.

Obviously I went and am alive to tell the tale.

Four of us went–Ellen, her thirteen years old son Max, me, and Megan Flinn, who works at Outreach, Inc. Our main objective for going was for Megan and I to facilitate a three day retreat for all fifteen of the staff of Last Bell. My goodness. What were we thinking?

You know what? I just noticed how much I’ve already written, so I’m gonna stop and share about the retreat experience tomorrow. I leave you with the link to the video I shot in March so you can “meet” Andrey and Oxsana.

Peace!

Last Bell in Indy