(9) To speak to another about the specifics of our temptations greatly reduces their power over us. Such conversation not only subverts any incipient process of repression, but it also offers us the benefit of a wiser counsel which reinforces a more positive identity. Our confidant may not always be able to offer us spectacular advice, but we find the experience of being listened to and heard is itself a source of comfort and new resolution.
Remember how to grow shame in a petri dish? You need three ingredients:
And remember the antidote?
Douse it with empathy.
You can’t experience empathy while cowering in secrecy and silence. You need some of that “Shame-Away.”
Go get some.